While it may be tempting to save some money and hire family or friends to substitute as a vendor for your wedding, this is not advisable. DIY has become popular but there are just certain aspects of your big day that you should never DIY. A well meaning friend or relative could ruin your ceremony! You want your attendees to remember your ceremony for all the RIGHT reasons, not because your inexperienced loved one fumbled the ceremony, or lost the memory card that they took all the photos with, or that you did not get a single usable photo.
And confession: I speak from experience.
When I needed a photographer for my wedding, the officiant I hired told me she had a photographer who shoots her ceremonies. My officiant was well known and had raving reviews. I trusted her recommendation without interviewing the photographer. Big mistake! The “photographer” showed up with his very entry level camera, didn’t help us find the right light, or direct us on where to stand for the best backdrop. He did shoot a lot of photos so I was hopeful. After a long while I had not heard back from him. Soon he sent the photos to me, and I was horrified. Not ONE usable photo. Not one! Each photo was blurry, the color was all off, I just cringe to think about it. I felt horrible for my spouse who was so disappointed. Our wedding photos are ones our witness took with their cell phone. Yes the cellphone photos were better than our wedding photographer’s photos.
One year later we were still upset about not having wedding photos. We had a celebration on our one year anniversary and hired Jerry with Fotility Studios to capture our special day. I had worked with Jerry before and he also handled my professional headshots. He spent so much time with us, he walked all around capturing not only the ceremony but posed and candid shots. He was fun and we were so comfortable. As an LGBT couple, we tend to be apprehensive with vendors. Jerry is completely inclusive and put us at ease within minutes! We could not be happier. Jerry’s photos are the ones we display. He is a real pro. These are the ones we are proud of!
Just like you don’t want to trust your photos to anyone, you do not want to trust anyone to officiate your ceremony. Just like I have a wedding photographer horror story, there are couples who have officiant horror stories. Uncle Bob means well, but he may not have experience needed to handle such an important task.
Things I have experienced first hand:
- I have had to re-marry a couple who’s loved one did not file the paperwork properly and they were never legally married.
- I have had to spring into action when a couple’s family friend officiant was a no show, and everyone was waiting for the ceremony to start. Luckily I was available.
- I had a couple contact me the day before their wedding because their loved one was too afraid to officiate in front of everyone.
- A couple decided to cancel my services and have a family friend officiate for free. I later saw the photos where the “officiant” was dressed in a t-shirt and shorts. This was a white dress wedding.
- I attended a friend’s wedding who had her brother officiate. What should have been a 20 minute ceremony ended up being one hour because he was so emotional that he had to keep stopping, and he told long stories about his childhood with the bride. Everyone was bored and with the heat people were so uncomfortable. I could see the bride was trying to get him to wrap it up, but he just kept sharing stories.
Besides the legalities, but not knowing how a ceremony flows, how to project your voice, handling the hiccups that can sometimes happen, telling inappropriate stories and the general lack of expertise. People like to think that just anyone can officiate as long as they’re legal, but what they don’t realize is that this is a very specific type of writing, storytelling and performance. You just can’t get it right the first time. There are no do-overs. These are just a few reasons why you need a professional. Sure even pros can make mistakes, but a professional officiant is well equipped to handle most situations. It’s what we do!
If you want to know how to find a professional officiant just head to the Officiant Directory for an officiant near you! https://officiantdirectory.com. If you would like to reach out to me, you can email me at donna@officiantdonna.com.
As professionals we care about you and your special day. Hire a pro! Professionals who have experience will most definitely help your stress level both before and during the wedding.
About the Author:
Donna Lynn is an officiant and advocate for the LGBT Community. She is the founder of Wedding Officiants of America which is dedicated to the education and coaching of over 1250 officiants nationwide. She is also the founder of the Officiant Directory, an LGBT all inclusive officiant directory composed of professional officiants. You can visit Donna at her website https://officiantdonna.com.